Kamy Bruder Blog

I can't tell you right now that the decisions I'm making in life are the right ones. All I can say is that I am striving to follow my instincts and do the right things. Somehow, deep inside, one always tends to know what the right things to do are, but yet, still, often question these things due to the strong pressures that we are all under, living in this society. The more one favors cultural diversity, the more one gravitates towards being presented difficult life choices. In other words, the more I lean towards doing as much as I can, the harder it gets for me to, when the day come, make a choice between the {too} many activities I want to do. I have just lately been in that situation. For the ones who did not know, I started racing when I was eleven years old and have been loving it more than anything else in this world. However, the trade-offs the sport presents one to are not of the fairest. Too often do we, racers, tend to sacrifice as much as possible in order to be successful, without fully thinking what the consequences will be once doing so. We will all agree that it is a dangerous sport and that it brings very little in return, but for the personal satisfaction and adrenaline. Now, I won't go into details but have had quite a few major injuries, and about 6 or 7 surgeries, if not more. Sometimes, I sit back at my computer desk in the cold of my room, and stay there for a while, thinking. "Gosh, is that what life is all about? It could all stop by tomorrow for what I know." Oh yes, for what we know huh? What do we know really? That's where it all becomes pathetic really but what can I do about it anyway besides try to make the best out of the life I have been given. So let us do that; our best.

I am digressing right now from the main point which is that I am struggling in letting go of racing. I have been presented lately to a few life-messages (these happen sometimes you know, as if some higher power tries to tell you something) and I have come to realizing that the other feats I am getting myself involved in are much more important than the risks I would be taking while racing a motorcycle. Therefore, I have decided to be working on letting go of the old, to allow the new to come in and blossom. Nonetheless, I still can't stop being reminded of the good times I have had racing and the many hours dad and I spent on the road, going to the races for days on end, traveling all over France and Germany, telling each other stories, listening to our favorite bands, laughing, teasing in the sun and in the rain, comfortable knowing we were doing the right things. We stuck together for good and bad. I let him take some of the punches sometimes, when I was too weak and vulnerable, scared of the unknown, scared of letting go; that’s okay though, because we’re the same souls. God knows how much I learned. I realized that I was only a 16 year-old kid, and had much to learn. I saw the world in a different light. It was not Kamy and the rest of the world anymore; it was the whole world with Kamy in it. Surprise! Yeah, that can hit you pretty hard sometimes. I pulled through it very well though; I guess, I do that, adapt. So again, now it is time to acclimatize and move on. There is so much I want to accomplish I should not even start a list now... it'll flow and I'll let you know as I go. On the big picture though, acting is one of the main things I want to do; one of the major goals.

I have been going over my website just now and realized that there is not a whole lot about 'Sitting In Paradise.' The book has been and is a huge part of my life today, as is publishing, and the many things my partners and I are doing. I am planning on giving that one section of the website some lovin' very soon! It truly deserves it, and it would even give you some more information about me, who I am, what I do, and how I strive to do it. Fun stuff, I hope. But hey, I am just thinking right now, things are just starting to come together. I just recently listened to Steve Job's very simple, yet amazing, speech, and the man speaks the truth. He says, "You can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards; you have to believe in something, because knowing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, and that will make all of the difference!"

I once heard that it was good to end a paper using a quote. Well, I am not ending a paper here, but rather moving, again, onto a new chapter in my life; therefore, I picked someone I thought you'd like. Montel William said that he will be the only person owning the definition of who he is. Whether you believe that's the way it is, or not, it does not really matter, as long as you find what's right for you; but in this situation, in my situation, I believe that the story of your life is only just about you, and really, you decide what will be the report that’s written, because it is your choice to choose, what it’s going to look like. Off to more adventures now... to find that which I seek.

Here's some pictures of my trip to New York City as well ,which I just got back from this week. It was my first time in the city and I really had a blast. Our meetings for the publishing company and the diverse other things we do went really well.

Photography by Ryu Kodama San.